


You Are My Sunshine...

by owlaholic68



Category: Monster of the Week (Tabletop RPG), Original Work
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Immortality, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Language, Snakes, Unethical use of the Soothe move, discussions of mortality, inappropriate use of magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22025167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlaholic68/pseuds/owlaholic68
Summary: James brings home an unusual new pet.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 7





	You Are My Sunshine...

“You brought home a _what?”_

James looks at him innocently. “You said you didn’t care as long as it wasn’t a cat.”

“Yeah, but,” Jacques gestures at James, nearly speechless. “A fucking _snake?”_

“Hey!” James hugs the small ball python close to his chest. “Don’t be mean to her!”

Jacques throws up his hands. “Don’t be _mean_ to the snake,” he mutters to himself. “I can’t even believe I agreed to this.”

His sweet James is starting to look a little put out at his attitude. “I _did_ ask if it was okay with you if I brought home a pet,” he defends. “You said yes, dear.”

“I thought you were going to get, like, a hamster. Something cute and cuddly.”

“I promise it won’t cause problems.” James lets the snake twine around his fingers. “She won’t take up much space and the enclosure is easy to clean.”

Jacques sighs and sits. “Don’t you have to feed that thing live mice?”

James swallows hard. “I – I got some frozen. Sunshine doesn’t need to be fed but every week or so. It’ll be fine.”

“Sunshine.” Jacques sighs again. “The snake is named Sunshine. You’re lucky I love you.”

* * *

Jacques is not jealous of a snake. That would be ridiculous.

“I’m not jealous of you,” he whispers to the snake. “That would be stupid.”

The snake, whose name Jacques is not going to consider, lazily stares up at him. It sticks it tongue out. Rude.

“I swear that if you fucking bite him or hurt him, I will make you very unhappy,” Jacques whispers. “I wouldn’t kill you because that would make James very upset. But I will make you suffer a little bit.”

He’s definitely not threatening an animal that doesn’t even have hands. Because that would be idiotic.

“Dear-” James comes into the room. They’ve repurposed a second-floor study for the snake. “Oh, um, what are you doing in here?”

“Nothing.” Jacques straightens. “What are _you_ doing?”

James holds up a bowl with a wince. “Feeding time again. Do you want to give it a try?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Really, it’s not that bad.” James doesn’t look very convincing. “You use a pair of tongs, you don’t even need to get that close to her.”

Jacques inwardly rolls his eyes. If it’ll make him happy… “Fine. I’ll try.”

He clumsily takes the tongs and picks up the thawed dead rodent. Gross, but honestly not as bad as expected. James opens the enclosure and guides Jacques to dangle the food inside.

“It’s not taking it,” Jacques complains.

“Wiggle it,” James suggests. He stands behind Jacques and hugs him around the waist.

He wiggles it. The snake pounces on it from a foot away.

Jacques gasps and drops the tongs in surprise. James yelps, startled by his surprise.

“Enthusiastic bastard,” Jacques says once he’s regained his composure.

James gently hits his shoulder. “Don’t call Sunshine mean names. She just got a little excited.”

“Whatever.” Jacques takes advantage of their closeness to smooch his boyfriend. “Let’s take this somewhere more private,” he suggests.

Private. Like away from that snake that is _staring_ at them…

* * *

If anyone knew that Jacques had gotten in the habit of talking to the snake, he would kill them.

“James is getting upset that you’re not eating,” Jacques complains to the snake one afternoon. “You’re worrying him. Eat, dumbass.” He shakes the food in front of the dumb snake. It lazily rolls over and stares at him. “He worries about everything, the last thing he needs to worry about is you not eating, you piece of shit. How dare you.”

Sunshine is close to shedding, James thinks. That’s why she’s not eating. But he’s not sure and it’s causing him a lot of stress.

“If you’re going to shed, just fucking get it over with.” Jacques wiggles the food again. No response. “You’re so picky. Oh, boo-hoo, it’s too hot or too cold or it’s too early or too late. You suck. I hate you.” That’s a lie: it’s impossible to hate something that James loves.

An idea comes to him. Jacques focuses his gaze on the snake and dips into his magic, letting it roll over his tongue.

 _“Eat,”_ he commands. The threat of Hell backs his words, the ferocity of a thousand demons and the smoldering pits of hellfire.

The snake obeys. It’s hard to say no to Jacques when he does that.

“Good girl.” Jacques sits back. “James is going to be _so_ proud of you.”

* * *

Jacques has to leave with only a few hours’ notice.

“Lucy and Harriett have gotten into deep shit,” he explains to a distressed James. “I’m sorry, I have to go bail them out. I promise it’ll only be a couple of days.”

“You have to leave right now?” James is tailing him around the house as he packs for the trip.

“I do. My train leaves in an hour and I’m only going to make it to the airport with minutes to spare before my flight.”

“Miss it.” James tugs at his arm. He’s had a rough week: they’d lost one regular member of the Org and two consultants in the last few days. This will only make it worse. “Delay the trip, please. There are plenty of flights to New York. You can take another one. Tomorrow. O-Or Wednesday.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Jacques takes his hand and squeezes it gently before letting go to stuff some socks in his suitcase. “I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t an absolute emergency.”

James starts crying and Jacques nearly says _fuck it._ Maybe he _could_ cancel…

“I f-feel like you’re a-abandoning me! You – you said you were going to be there for me this week.” James angrily wipes his eyes. “I – I’m sorry I’m being so overdramatic and h-hysterical and a mess, b – but I don’t know if I can take it, Jacques. Last time you said for just a little bit but you were gone for _months.”_

Jacques hugs him and lets James cling to him. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. Only for a few days, I promise. I’m coming home on Thursday, sooner if I can.” He pushes down guilt. “Hey, how about you go lie down?” He suggests in a low calming tone of voice. “You need rest. It’ll help. Let’s go lie down, okay? Everything’s going to be alright. You’re going to be fine and you’ll get through this.”

James’ shoulders slump and he leans against Jacques. “Okay,” he mumbles. Lets Jacques pick him up and carry him up to the study. Jacques sets him down on the fainting couch and drapes a blanket over him.

“You’ll be back soon?” James murmurs.

Jacques smiles and lays a hand on his cheek, wiping away a few stray tears. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he promises. “Just go to sleep for a little while, dear.”

He concentrates and uses the strongest sleep spell he knows. James’ eyes flutter closed. His breathing evens out.

“I _am_ sorry,” Jacques whispers. He slowly stands and James doesn’t stir. That’ll hopefully keep him asleep for at least three days. It’s an awful thing to have to use, but I’ll be better than James fretting and making himself sick with worry while Jacques is gone.

Jacques turns away and frowns. The fucking snake is staring at him. It looks judgmental, or maybe that’s just Jacques’ guilty conscience speaking.

“Not a word,” he whispers to the snake. It quietly hisses. “You watch over him and take care of him if he wakes up early, okay?”

The snake is just a snake, so it doesn’t respond. But it is watching James attentively. So maybe it did get the message.

* * *

Jacques blinks and fifteen years go by.

Sometimes that happens. Other times, a single day seems to stretch on for decades. Years start becoming meaningless if you let them. He fights to hold onto the concept of time and teaches James to do the same. Supports him when James gets attached to every friendly human and then mourns their inevitable quick passing.

The snake is still here.

“How long is this thing going to live?” Jacques asks. He’s been dreading asking. A pet with a short lifespan would be devastating.

James lets the snake settle on his shoulders. It’s now nearly too thick to wrap a hand around and almost five feet long. “Normal lifespan is about thirty years, so Sunshine probably has another fifteen years left.”

“Fuck.” Jacques sighs. “That’s really long for an animal.” He’s secretly glad. The dumb snake is good for James: it keeps him company when Jacques can’t, it offers consistency and stability, and it’s an enjoyable distraction.

* * *

The power goes out one night.

Jacques has a moment of flickering warning before the lights cut out. It’s late winter. High winds rattle the windowpanes; icicles hang heavy from the sill.

He fumbles in a kitchen drawer for a flashlight. He could just use magic to see in the dark, but he needs to break the habit of abusing magic for everyday problems.

“Dear?” James calls out. There’s a low thump and Jacques hears him yelp in pain.

“In the kitchen!” He answers, and finally finds a working flashlight. “I’ve got a light, just stay put!”

James is holding his shin and wincing, having bumped into the coffee table. He’s shivering slightly and his doe eyes look huge in the weird light.

“I bet a power line went down. It’ll take forever for them to get out here to fix it. I’ll get a fire going,” Jacques offers. “We’ll make a blanket fort in the bedroom in the meantime.”

“Thanks, that sounds good.” James looks around and gasps in horror. “Sunshine! It’s too cold, her heating pad-” He scurries towards the stairs and yelps again. It’s hard to see the start of the staircase in the dark, and it’s easy to trip.

Jacques catches his arm so he doesn’t fall. “You need to watch where you’re going!” He snaps, then winces and softens his voice. “Sorry. Here, sweetheart, take the light. I’ll find another one. And _please_ try to be careful.”

“Thanks!” James takes the flashlight and jogs up the stairs. Jacques finds some candles and lights them while he gets the fire going. It’s taking forever to get going without magic, all their firewood slightly damp from the gloomy weather. In a few minutes, he has a pathetic fire and heaps of blankets and pillows.

James comes downstairs with the snake in his arms. He’s breathing in that stuttering way that means he’s anxious.

“Hey, sit down.” Jacques helps him sit comfortably in the blanket pile and keeps his voice low, calming. “It’s warmer over here. Just relax, it’s going to be just fine.” He puts a couple of heavy quilts over them.

“I – I’m worried about Sunshine,” James whispers when they’re settled. The snake twines around his wrist, as if it was also trying to calm him. “She’s really cold. She’s not supposed to be cold, Jacques.”

“It’ll be fine.” Jacques adjusts more blankets. “It’s not too bad. She can handle it.”

“No, she can’t!” James has tears in his eyes. “She can’t, Jacques, she can’t! Snakes have to be at a specific temperature or they’ll get sick! A-And at her age-”

Jacques kneels in front of him and hugs him tightly, the snake nestled between them. “Ssh, it’s going to be okay. Just breathe dear, breathe, breathe…” He continues to whisper nonsense platitudes until James starts to calm down.

But what to do now? The power could be down overnight if crews don’t get out fast enough, and that’s a really fucking long time to keep James from making himself sick from a panic attack. And then there’s the snake situation…

“I’m going to get up now and get some supplies.” Jacques gives James a kiss on the forehead. “Just for a few minutes, then I’ll be back, okay?”

James nods and sniffles. “Okay. Sorry-”

“No, no apologizing. Never apologize for being emotional, dear. Now I’m going, see you in a few.”

Jacques goes for the mud room first and digs through James’ coat pockets until he finds his stash of hand warmers. He opens a few and vigorously shakes them before wrapping them in scarves. Those go to James for immediate warmth.

Upstairs in the study, he disconnects the enclosure-mounted thermometer and slips it into his pocket. In his own personal office, he takes down his backup magical supplies. The whole bundle goes downstairs and he starts setting up while James watches and frets.

Runes completed and components arranged, Jacques sits back on his heels to survey his work. He mentally calculates the amount of power needed to run this circle, and winces. It’s not huge, but his boss has been on his ass about magical overuse, so it will _definitely_ show up on his “expense” report.

James shivers and the decision suddenly becomes easy.

Heat spreads out from the center of the rune in chalk-lined grooves. This part is nothing special, but then the warmth sinks into the floor, burning the rune into the carpet. That is the biggest energy suck: making this something that either of them could replicate at any time without further significant magical expenditure. And without burning the house down.

Phase Two of the spell involves the edges of the circle rising up to form a bubble. Jacques watches the thermometer output slowly rise.

“What’s the ideal temperature?” He asks, frowning and adjusting some of the components.

“Seventy-eightish degrees. Or eighty is fine too.” James’ shaky smile steadies with the heat increase.

It takes just over ten minutes for it to reach that temperature. Jacques reaches out and taps the bubble. It stays steady at that amount.

“Thank you, dear.” James is quiet and his hands still betray anxiety, but otherwise he’s calm. “That was a lot of work just to make me feel better.”

Jacques shrugs. He hugs James from behind and leans them back against some pillows so they’re comfortably laying down. Sunshine rests on James curled-up legs. “It really wasn’t anything. No problem, anything for you. Always.”

* * *

As expected, his boss is not pleased.

“Oh, let me guess?” William gives a patronizing smile and points at the glaring entry in Jacques’ magical "expenditure" report. “Poor little hypochondriac boyfriend caught a chill?”

Jacques bites back a cutting comment about how _at least he has somebody who can stand him, but I guess we can’t all be so lucky…_ “It was an emergency.”

“Oh, well if it was an _emergency…”_ William snorts. “It was an overreaction. You can’t move Heaven and Earth every time your basket case gives you puppy-dog eyes. Try to exercise _some_ restraint for once. This,” he points at the record, “this is ridiculous, Jacques. What the _fuck_ is going on down there that could _possibly_ warrant this?”

“Exceptions are made in the case of personal attachments, sir,” Jacques argues. His eye twitches. _Basket case…_

William gives him an exasperated look. “Yeah, I’ve only heard that argument from you, oh, a hundred times. I’m getting sick of your _personal attachment.”_ He sits in his austere office chair. “Listen. Your precious honey plum is clearly overwrought. You spoil him so much it makes me sick, so why not take him on a nice vacation? A tropical beach and a luxurious spa resort, wouldn’t he like that? He’ll be toasty warm reading in the sun.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? I’ll give you the time off, if only to get you off my fucking back, and money is no object. You two lovebirds could fly off tomorrow if you’d like. Anywhere you want, if he doesn’t like beaches. So what’s the problem?”

Jacques grits his teeth. “James won’t travel, sir.”

William wolfishly grins. Fuck, Jacques _hates_ giving him personal information. He only uses it to make his life _literally_ Hell. “Weird. Why not?”

“He’s too anxious,” Jacques reluctantly admits. He’s gripping the armrests of his chair hard enough to leave indents in the wood. “He gets too worked up about it. We tried taking a road trip to the next town over and…”

“And he had a hysterical breakdown, I’m guessing?” William leans in and Jacques grips the chair harder to push down the urge to punch him. “Oh, poor baby. Tell me, Jacques, do you have to carry your weak-kneed bundle of nerves everywhere, or can he walk on his own?” He laughs. “You really know how to pick ‘em. Can you point me in the direction of such a comely nervous wreck for myself? The more unglued the better.”

 _Fuck you, fuck you,_ Jacques is repeating to himself, now resisting the desire to _kill_ William where he sits. He takes a few deep breaths and closes his eyes. _Pretend you’re talking to James,_ he tells himself. _Calm. Calm._ Jacques opens his eyes, looks at William’s smug face, and mentally moves his plan forward. William’s careless remarks will get him killed sooner than later. _Soon…_

He musters a smile, trying not to bare too many teeth. “He is one of a kind and he has. Unique. Needs.”

“Needs which you are more than willing to indulge, I see.” William waves a hand and leans back in his chair. “Which takes us back to our original problem. You’re too indulgent and I’ve been far too fucking lenient. That ends now.” He stamps the report with a large red stamp labelled “infraction”.

Jacques’ strained smile falls. “Sir, can’t you make an exception-”

“No.” William pushes the stack of papers away with a disdainful hand. “You’re not even supposed to have _personal attachments,_ Jacques. You’re lucky I’ve allowed it thus far. Don’t push your luck.”

He stands and shoves the report into Jacques’ hands. The red ink smears across his fingers like blood. “Now, Jacques, don’t look so glum. Take this whole rest of the week off. That’s an order. Use that time wisely. Take your neurotic boytoy out for a dinner and a movie or whatever the kids call it nowadays.” He puts on a fake-concerned pout. “You don’t take enough _you_ time, Jacques. Maybe that’s why James is constantly in such a state. When was the last time you gave him a nice relaxed roll in the hay?”

“I appreciate your _genuine_ concern about my love life, sir.” Jacques is struggling to hold onto his thin veneer of calm, when he’s been seeing red for the last couple of sentences. He is _not_ going to pull a Lucy and punch his boss. He is _not._ “Thank you for this _delightful_ meeting.” He turns to go.

“Oh, Jacques, one more thing.” William takes his elbow and leans in close. He grins even wider. “Just personal curiosity. James seems like a crybaby. Does he cry when you two are-”

 _“Sir.”_ Jacques shakes off his grip. “That’s none of your business, and I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of my personal life, of which you claim to have _absolutely no interest.”_

William chuckles and opens the office door. “I’ll take that as a yes. Have a nice week, Jacques.”

* * *

“Did you get in trouble for the heat circle?” James asks when he gets back. “I know you weren’t supposed to use so much magic if it wasn’t an emergency. I don’t want you to get in trouble for my sake.”

Jacques smiles. It’s more genuine now that he’s back. “No, just a metaphorical slap on the wrist. Don’t worry about it.”

* * *

James would be undeniably upset if he knew what Jacques was doing.

“Okay.” Jacques finishes the ritual and activates it. He takes a deep breath and crosses his fingers.

“Hello, Sunshine.”

The snake sitting inside the ritual circle raises its head. “Hello.” Its voice is both here and not, inlaid with a low hiss.

“This spell only lasts for two minutes,” Jacques says. “We can understand each other now. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay. Ask away.” Sunshine uncoils slightly. “James trusts you, so I will listen.”

Jacques clears his throat, suddenly nervous for no good reason. “How would you like to live forever?”

It’s a loaded question, so he’s expecting a weighty period of consideration. Instead, he gets an immediate answer:

“Absolutely not.”

“Absolutely not?” Jacques recoils from the suddenness and firmness of the response. “Why not? It’s not too bad once you get used to it. James and I will both live forever, and he seems very attached to you. He adores you.”

Sunshine sighs. “And I will not live forever. When my time is done, he will be heartbroken, right?”

Jacques nods. “It will devastate him.”

“Then he’ll recover. And he’ll be stronger.” Sunshine shifts forward and rests her head on Jacques’ foot. “You’re doing this for selfish reasons. You love him and you don’t want him to ever suffer. And I understand, but I disagree.” She tilts her head. “You can’t protect him from everything, Jacques. But you can be there for him, and you will be. Accept that.”

Their two minutes is almost done. “If that is what you wish, then I will accept your answer.” Jacques sighs. He could have just done the magic without asking first, but he wanted to do this the most ethical way. “Thank you, Sunshine.”

“You’re welcome.”

The spell ends. Jacques lets Sunshine climb up his arm and sighs.

He has a lot to think about.

**Author's Note:**

> Jacques and James are two NPCs from my MOTW campaign that canonically have a pet snake named Sunshine.
> 
> I do not personally have any reptilian pets and so anything is inaccurate...


End file.
